Pastor Mike and I have been discussing how the church has responded to a number of difficult situations over the last year or so. I, of course, have now experienced its generosity and love at a level which I had not anticipated. Martha's illness and recent diagnosis have affirmed my trust in God and in His people here at St. Lukes. Pastor is once again witnessing the love of God's people through his recent health problems. Together we have witnessed how strong our church can be through these difficult times and also as we went through a difficult situation with our church finances. The feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, and perhaps a bit of feeling betrayed, went around the office for many weeks.
Through it all we have noticed and commented on the resilience of our membership. We noted that our attendance did not decline, despite Pastor Mike's absence from the pulpit for around two months. We noted that our offerings did not decrease despite the setbacks of earlier this year. And we noted that our Holy Week services actually increased in attendance from last year.
In Bible study just this morning we commented on I Thessalonians where Paul praised the church for its faith, trust and love within its members, and the generosity it still exhibited in the face of persecution. Paul expressed again and again that he wanted to see the congregation once more in his journeys. Judging by the second letter he wrote to them, he may have been unable to do so. Paul, I think, would want to visit this congregation as well, and for many of the same reasons.
I thank God that he saw fit to place me here, and I thank you, members of St. Luke, for all you have demonstrated of the Christian response to the trials of being His People in the world.
In His Peace,
John
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Positively Thinking
In my studies in seminary I was required to take Pastoral Counseling. It was quite a unique mix of topics and approaches. One idea which intrigued me throughout the course was a technique for counseling and for self help. The idea is not that new in the psychological community, but it was new to me.
It is the technique called 'cognitive therapy.' While it could be simplistically labeled 'the power of positive thinking', I believe it to be a great tool for individuals, and even groups, who may be experiencing difficult times. I would tend to call it 'thinking correctly.'
People who become depressed, not merely sad, tend to get trapped into thinking in irrational ways in response to bad stimuli. Consider a child who is told early and often that they are not any good. Even when positive things happen in their lives, they are incapable of correctly thinking about the positive experience. Their patterns of thought are not able to process the positive data. They are trapped into unrealistic assessment of their own capabilities by the thinking they have been conditioned to. They feel they do not deserve the good things, or simply got lucky once in awhile, and things will go back to their normal desperate state in the near future.
Cognitive Therapy attempts to redirect and recondition the thought process back to something approaching realism. Most of us have the ability to rationally think a problem through. Doing so with the example of the child noted in the example above would include pointing out that reality is not determined by what others tell us about ourselves. No doubt, this is oversimplifying the approach, but, the child would gradually be trained to ask certain questions when either thinking negative things about themselves, or when being told negative things. The first question would then be: Is this statement about me true? Am I always bad? Am I really worth so little?
Our church might ask similar questions of itself when confronted with negative statements or thinking about our future in the face of difficult times. The problem, of course, is getting everyone on the same page when it comes to answering these questions. We are all good at asking questions of the organizations to which we belong; and good at answering the questions in ways which validate our long-held opinions about the organizations and our own roles in them.
Our church is facing some potentially difficult times ahead as Pastor Mike takes time off (temporary disability) to get some strength back, and to determine his course of action in combating his heart disease. So far, the response of the congregation has been very positive, and has been content to wait for more information from Pastor about his situation. Attendance has been very consistent and quite good.
We need to maintain a positive outlook on the situation. We need to wait until all pertinent information is in before making decisions on how to proceed, and we need to put the best construction (a very Lutheran term, though one hard to actually find in operation!) on the future. Our leadership is strong, and no major decisions can ever be made without the vote of the assembly of voters. It is a pretty stable platform to operate from, even in times of difficulty.
We also need to take a lesson from Cognitive Therapy. Before jumping on the rumor bandwagon we should each take time to ask ourselves if what we have heard is true or mere speculation. We can also be mindful of the Eighth Commandment and not become trapped into the ugly cycle of rumor and innuendo which often accompanies stress and change. Later steps in cognitive therapy include acting on the more realistic statements which can be said of any given situation and acting in a positive manner to improve potential outcomes. That was a mouthful, but for us it simply means to do something positive for your church!
We know that we have a God who has done the miraculous for us. He has saved us. He has promised also to always be with us. He did not say that lightly, or infer that He would leave when things got a little difficult. The cross is all the evidence we need of that.
God Bless our Church!
John
Sunday, January 3, 2010
What?, Family again?
While on our yearly trek to Pasadena and back for Petal Pushers and the Tournament of Roses Parade, my DCE coworker Amy and I were discussing family and all that comes with it. I'm sure she won't mind that I share this, as it is mostly from my part of the conversation. Amy is engaged to be married this summer, so the topic of marriage and family naturally came up.
During this conversation I tried to summarize and crystallize some of our thoughts (sometimes the results of this tendency of mine work well, and other times not!). What I came up with may not be all that new but it coincides with some things I have been saying for a number of years. I've often commented to others, for example, that though I've been married to Martha for twenty years now, and we've had children for thirteen of the those years, it seems that we've had kids longer than we've been married! Along with this observation came my silly notion that parenting years should be measured cumulatively per child. Since I have twin thirteen year old boys, I have a combined twenty-six years of parenting. I tried once to have Pastor Mike do his own math on that idea, but he gave up! (Five kids, and the oldest is, well, pretty old by now.)
Sorry for that ramble. The notion I came up with to summarize the conversation was this: Marriage changes YOU, having children changes your LIFE. After expressing that idea, I thought it deserved a little bit of exploration. This is my first attempt at doing just that. Please be patient with me on this one, okay?
Having shared my life with Martha for twenty years has been an adventure for us. Both of us have changed occupations more than once, and we've experienced ups and downs, emotionally and financially and spiritually, and we've changed which coast we've lived on (We each did this once before we met, and once while married). There have been plenty of changes for each of us. The biggest change, however, was being married. I can say that marriage did not change my life. Marriage changed ME. I believe that marriage teaches you to be more forgiving. If it doesn't, then the marriage is either doomed to failure, or at best, a dismal future together. I know for certain that I needed to be more forgiving, considering my laundry list of faults in need of forgiving from all those around me. Marriage has also taught me some patience. I am more patient now than I have been in the past. This may come as a shock to those who know me. The shock is in trying to imagine John as any less patient in the past. Hey, I'm learning; changing.
Significantly, I don't really recall that my life or lifestyle changed all that dramatically when I married Martha. I didn't stop dating. I kept dating Martha. Other things were added to my life, but they were family functions which I would have done with my own family had we not been separated by 3000 miles. Martha's family time was my family time. Neither of us made much money back then. I worked for a Lutheran High School, and she began work as a mediation consultant for the city of New York court system. Neither of us cleared $18,000 in 1990. We each scraped by both before and after marriage.
Then came children. Surprise: twin boys. Lifestyle change. Our lives changed. We had been changed, already, by our lives together for six years. Now our lives were to change, with different schedules, additional burdens and cares. Thankfully we had been changed already in how we dealt with life. The changes that we experienced in our lives as a married couple prepared us for the change in lifestyle which having children would bring. This was no temporary committment, our marriage: it was intended to last. Into such a stable scenario our children were born.
To me, this occurred as designed. There is a reason for the long cultural (almost worldwide) practice of being a couple before allowing for children. Few cultures historically have made provision for the raising of children prior to marriage, however it was defined, without it being viewed as some kind of aberration.
That said, I also believe that God makes special preparations for the children of families who do not fit this neat and tidy mold. In many ways scripture shows how God has stepped in to unique family situations and rescued the plan that he put in place, and which we have somehow messed up through the sin in our lives and in the world. It is not to my credit (or Martha's) that we have been able to demonstrate the plan as God has set it forth. It is only to His credit, of course. Thank God that He calls us and receives us as His own, no matter the (family) circumstances in which we find ourselves.
In His Peace,
John
During this conversation I tried to summarize and crystallize some of our thoughts (sometimes the results of this tendency of mine work well, and other times not!). What I came up with may not be all that new but it coincides with some things I have been saying for a number of years. I've often commented to others, for example, that though I've been married to Martha for twenty years now, and we've had children for thirteen of the those years, it seems that we've had kids longer than we've been married! Along with this observation came my silly notion that parenting years should be measured cumulatively per child. Since I have twin thirteen year old boys, I have a combined twenty-six years of parenting. I tried once to have Pastor Mike do his own math on that idea, but he gave up! (Five kids, and the oldest is, well, pretty old by now.)
Sorry for that ramble. The notion I came up with to summarize the conversation was this: Marriage changes YOU, having children changes your LIFE. After expressing that idea, I thought it deserved a little bit of exploration. This is my first attempt at doing just that. Please be patient with me on this one, okay?
Pastor Mike, by the way, kinda stole my thunder on this topic, since he covered family extensively in his sermon on Jan. 3. Knowing how differently we approach things, however, I don't believe I'll tread much on his ideas.
Having shared my life with Martha for twenty years has been an adventure for us. Both of us have changed occupations more than once, and we've experienced ups and downs, emotionally and financially and spiritually, and we've changed which coast we've lived on (We each did this once before we met, and once while married). There have been plenty of changes for each of us. The biggest change, however, was being married. I can say that marriage did not change my life. Marriage changed ME. I believe that marriage teaches you to be more forgiving. If it doesn't, then the marriage is either doomed to failure, or at best, a dismal future together. I know for certain that I needed to be more forgiving, considering my laundry list of faults in need of forgiving from all those around me. Marriage has also taught me some patience. I am more patient now than I have been in the past. This may come as a shock to those who know me. The shock is in trying to imagine John as any less patient in the past. Hey, I'm learning; changing.
Significantly, I don't really recall that my life or lifestyle changed all that dramatically when I married Martha. I didn't stop dating. I kept dating Martha. Other things were added to my life, but they were family functions which I would have done with my own family had we not been separated by 3000 miles. Martha's family time was my family time. Neither of us made much money back then. I worked for a Lutheran High School, and she began work as a mediation consultant for the city of New York court system. Neither of us cleared $18,000 in 1990. We each scraped by both before and after marriage.
Then came children. Surprise: twin boys. Lifestyle change. Our lives changed. We had been changed, already, by our lives together for six years. Now our lives were to change, with different schedules, additional burdens and cares. Thankfully we had been changed already in how we dealt with life. The changes that we experienced in our lives as a married couple prepared us for the change in lifestyle which having children would bring. This was no temporary committment, our marriage: it was intended to last. Into such a stable scenario our children were born.
To me, this occurred as designed. There is a reason for the long cultural (almost worldwide) practice of being a couple before allowing for children. Few cultures historically have made provision for the raising of children prior to marriage, however it was defined, without it being viewed as some kind of aberration.
That said, I also believe that God makes special preparations for the children of families who do not fit this neat and tidy mold. In many ways scripture shows how God has stepped in to unique family situations and rescued the plan that he put in place, and which we have somehow messed up through the sin in our lives and in the world. It is not to my credit (or Martha's) that we have been able to demonstrate the plan as God has set it forth. It is only to His credit, of course. Thank God that He calls us and receives us as His own, no matter the (family) circumstances in which we find ourselves.
In His Peace,
John
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Power of Giving
It is completely timely that I write of this gift of God at this time. I have experienced an incredible gift this week. I write 'this week', but the gift has been continuous since April this year, when friends, relatives and acquaintances offered their prayers and support during our time of need.
This week my family was given a simple gift of money. It was from my congregation and other concerned and loving Christians, most of whom know my wife Martha and me, and the boys. A fund raiser was put on by St. Lukes and by our local Thrivent Chapter to offset our expenses with Martha's illness. With matching funds donated by Thrivent, over $11,000.00 was collected to help us offset the hospital and doctor and therapy bills. This gift was announced at our 8:30 worship service on December 6.
I don't know fully how to thank everyone who contributed. Though I don't readily show too much emotion (guilty of being a male Lutheran-and of German stock), I do tend to get a tear in my eye on occassion and to be unable to keep a quiver out of my voice when I am witness to generosity and a caring spirit. I would not have been able to respond in any meaningful way to the gift if I had been pressed into doing so on that Sunday. And I want to respond in a worthy manner. Yet, this has been a very moving thing to me. I thank all who were involved at any level in making this come about.
As we near Christmas, I am reminded in this of the gift of our savior. As I struggle to thank all those who have shown kindness to Martha and our family, I can see a comparison to how we struggle as Christians to thank God in any meaningful way. We want to thank him, but perhaps are not capable of doing so in a worthy manner! Even when we attempt to thank God for the gift of salvation, understanding what a struggle it was for Jesus to endure the cross and abandonment and death, we know that our efforts are not up to the task. We begin with the best of intentions, and can almost keep those intentions pure, but ultimately they fall short of even our own expectations.
Lets consider just how thankful we can be for simple gifts given in the most simple of ways, and apply that to how to give thanks to our Lord for all he has done for us. The simple gift was the gift of money when we needed it. A deeper gift was what God has done for us in the steady recovery of Martha's health and strength, and her return to her family. Deeper still, however, is the sure gift and eternal hope and peace of our savior.
In His Peace, and with great thanks!
John
This week my family was given a simple gift of money. It was from my congregation and other concerned and loving Christians, most of whom know my wife Martha and me, and the boys. A fund raiser was put on by St. Lukes and by our local Thrivent Chapter to offset our expenses with Martha's illness. With matching funds donated by Thrivent, over $11,000.00 was collected to help us offset the hospital and doctor and therapy bills. This gift was announced at our 8:30 worship service on December 6.
I don't know fully how to thank everyone who contributed. Though I don't readily show too much emotion (guilty of being a male Lutheran-and of German stock), I do tend to get a tear in my eye on occassion and to be unable to keep a quiver out of my voice when I am witness to generosity and a caring spirit. I would not have been able to respond in any meaningful way to the gift if I had been pressed into doing so on that Sunday. And I want to respond in a worthy manner. Yet, this has been a very moving thing to me. I thank all who were involved at any level in making this come about.
As we near Christmas, I am reminded in this of the gift of our savior. As I struggle to thank all those who have shown kindness to Martha and our family, I can see a comparison to how we struggle as Christians to thank God in any meaningful way. We want to thank him, but perhaps are not capable of doing so in a worthy manner! Even when we attempt to thank God for the gift of salvation, understanding what a struggle it was for Jesus to endure the cross and abandonment and death, we know that our efforts are not up to the task. We begin with the best of intentions, and can almost keep those intentions pure, but ultimately they fall short of even our own expectations.
Lets consider just how thankful we can be for simple gifts given in the most simple of ways, and apply that to how to give thanks to our Lord for all he has done for us. The simple gift was the gift of money when we needed it. A deeper gift was what God has done for us in the steady recovery of Martha's health and strength, and her return to her family. Deeper still, however, is the sure gift and eternal hope and peace of our savior.
In His Peace, and with great thanks!
John
Monday, October 26, 2009
Prayer power
My note in the newsletter for St. Luke noted that I would cover some topics related to gifts, practical gifts which God gives to us. In that article I also stated that God gives good gifts to everyone, not excluding those who don't believe in Him. The power of prayer falls into this category, just as did the power of forgiveness.
Both gifts have some inherent psychological benefits regardless of the subject of the believer's faith. Psychologists and students of human behavior over many generations have observed the benefits of belief in a higher power. Abraham Maslow's pyramid of needs placed this in the upper echelon of need fulfillment on the way toward his 'self-actualized' person. That is just one example (uh, the one I happened to gravitate toward in college, and so remembered a bit better) of belief in a higher power demonstrating benefits for individuals.
I think that the reasons this is true are pretty simple. Belief in a higher power necessarily places the believer in an inferior position in a relationship. This may not sound like a great thing, but it means that the person believes that there is a greater good out there than his or her own good. Its this kind of thinking which leads me to at least appreciate a society which would require some kind of military service to qualify to vote. Military service necessarily places one in a position to serve a greater good at the expense of self. Do that long enough and you may just consider the needs of society in general before you vote on any issue. Don't get too worked up that I wrote that! I said I appreciated the society which would consider this, not that I am pushing for it!
Okay, I think the general point was made. Now back to the power of prayer. I believe that praying places us in a position where we must acknowledge that we are the mere supplicant. We are obviously praying to a higher power, which by extension must mean that it is considering requests from others as well. It also demonstrates the belief that we are not always in control of our own situation (responsible for our actions, yes. In control of the results? No.). We must then accept the outcomes which may not be the ones we desire.
Prayer puts us in a position to handle many possible outcomes in our lives. But it also indicates a belief that we don't always know what is best for us. Not only that, but it also moves us toward the conclusion that what is best for us is not always best for others, or for all. This understanding might be considered close to a miracle revelation for a young Christian, say in their early teens, around whom the world usually revolves. It is a miracle for parents many times to witness this kind of understanding dawning on their child.
Maybe the power of prayer could be linked strongly with the notion of selflessness. I think that mature prayers necessarily have this quality. Prayer certainly matures over time for the one doing the praying. I believe that the act of prayer moves the very maturing process along at a quicker pace. Consider someone you know with a strong prayer life. If you get a chance, find out if anything I wrote is proven out or disproven by their example or experience. I would be interested in your input on this.
I have by no means exhausted the ideas floating around in my head on this topic. We'll see where that gets us the next time I write.
Peace!
John
Both gifts have some inherent psychological benefits regardless of the subject of the believer's faith. Psychologists and students of human behavior over many generations have observed the benefits of belief in a higher power. Abraham Maslow's pyramid of needs placed this in the upper echelon of need fulfillment on the way toward his 'self-actualized' person. That is just one example (uh, the one I happened to gravitate toward in college, and so remembered a bit better) of belief in a higher power demonstrating benefits for individuals.
I think that the reasons this is true are pretty simple. Belief in a higher power necessarily places the believer in an inferior position in a relationship. This may not sound like a great thing, but it means that the person believes that there is a greater good out there than his or her own good. Its this kind of thinking which leads me to at least appreciate a society which would require some kind of military service to qualify to vote. Military service necessarily places one in a position to serve a greater good at the expense of self. Do that long enough and you may just consider the needs of society in general before you vote on any issue. Don't get too worked up that I wrote that! I said I appreciated the society which would consider this, not that I am pushing for it!
Okay, I think the general point was made. Now back to the power of prayer. I believe that praying places us in a position where we must acknowledge that we are the mere supplicant. We are obviously praying to a higher power, which by extension must mean that it is considering requests from others as well. It also demonstrates the belief that we are not always in control of our own situation (responsible for our actions, yes. In control of the results? No.). We must then accept the outcomes which may not be the ones we desire.
Prayer puts us in a position to handle many possible outcomes in our lives. But it also indicates a belief that we don't always know what is best for us. Not only that, but it also moves us toward the conclusion that what is best for us is not always best for others, or for all. This understanding might be considered close to a miracle revelation for a young Christian, say in their early teens, around whom the world usually revolves. It is a miracle for parents many times to witness this kind of understanding dawning on their child.
Maybe the power of prayer could be linked strongly with the notion of selflessness. I think that mature prayers necessarily have this quality. Prayer certainly matures over time for the one doing the praying. I believe that the act of prayer moves the very maturing process along at a quicker pace. Consider someone you know with a strong prayer life. If you get a chance, find out if anything I wrote is proven out or disproven by their example or experience. I would be interested in your input on this.
I have by no means exhausted the ideas floating around in my head on this topic. We'll see where that gets us the next time I write.
Peace!
John
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Faith in Life vs. Life in Faith
With the recent and extreme illness (and continuing recovery) of my wife, Martha, I have noticed a pattern of questioning from concerned friends and acquaintences, which allows me some insight into how people perceive matters of faith.
Some people view faith as a tool with which to handle the ups and downs of a life which seems to have no real purpose. It is a faith with a purpose, I suppose, in that faith is meant to support and strengthen a believer. God is certainly a personal god to those who view faith in this manner. I don't doubt that there is true belief here, as far as it goes. When trouble comes to a friend, a person operating within this framework often expresses concern by asking how faith has helped the friend cope with, or overcome their helplessness, fear, and confusion during the time of trouble. There is no doubt that many Psalms and Biblical passages can support this understanding of the role of faith. God is an everpresent help in time of need.
I think, however, that when we do this, we stray from the Biblical standard in at least two ways. First, today we seem to use "faith" in place of "Jesus" or "God" when describing what helped us in our time of trial. This is, to me, a secularization of Biblical faith into a generic 'faith in faith.'
Second, as I noted above, many of us stray into trivializing faith as a tool to be used when needed, then set aside for the next crisis.
Don't worry, I have not been categorizing your faith based upon how you asked me about my faith during Martha's illness. I have tended to sometimes think along these lines myself.
To finally connect with the title, I will note this about how I believe we should all approach our faith: I don't simply have faith in my life. I live my life in faith. In other words, faith is not a part of my life. My faith in God is the context of my life. Faith itself, God himself, is bigger than I. Faith and God are bigger than I;they predate, and will postdate, my puny existence.
The strength of this faith did not only just show up in time for the crisis. It has been there all along. God's gift to us is a salvation earned in a specific way, in a real time and place, and once and for all. The gift does not depend upon how much faith we have. It does not depend upon how we feel at a particular time. It is simply there. It happened the way it happened despite our unbelief, or lack of faith. It is steady and unchanging. And yes, I do have strength through it. But it is not my strength. It all belongs to God.
Finally, life's ups and downs, and in my case the big down of an unexplained illness in Martha, do not define my faith. My faith in Jesus defines my whole life, including the highest ups and the lowest downs.
Thanks for taking a look at my first post. I promise I won't dwell on this particular issue. But I cannot promise that it won't influence my future postings! This was written somewhat in haste, with no editing. So don't get too critical about the grammar!
Peace to you all,
John
Some people view faith as a tool with which to handle the ups and downs of a life which seems to have no real purpose. It is a faith with a purpose, I suppose, in that faith is meant to support and strengthen a believer. God is certainly a personal god to those who view faith in this manner. I don't doubt that there is true belief here, as far as it goes. When trouble comes to a friend, a person operating within this framework often expresses concern by asking how faith has helped the friend cope with, or overcome their helplessness, fear, and confusion during the time of trouble. There is no doubt that many Psalms and Biblical passages can support this understanding of the role of faith. God is an everpresent help in time of need.
I think, however, that when we do this, we stray from the Biblical standard in at least two ways. First, today we seem to use "faith" in place of "Jesus" or "God" when describing what helped us in our time of trial. This is, to me, a secularization of Biblical faith into a generic 'faith in faith.'
Second, as I noted above, many of us stray into trivializing faith as a tool to be used when needed, then set aside for the next crisis.
Don't worry, I have not been categorizing your faith based upon how you asked me about my faith during Martha's illness. I have tended to sometimes think along these lines myself.
To finally connect with the title, I will note this about how I believe we should all approach our faith: I don't simply have faith in my life. I live my life in faith. In other words, faith is not a part of my life. My faith in God is the context of my life. Faith itself, God himself, is bigger than I. Faith and God are bigger than I;they predate, and will postdate, my puny existence.
The strength of this faith did not only just show up in time for the crisis. It has been there all along. God's gift to us is a salvation earned in a specific way, in a real time and place, and once and for all. The gift does not depend upon how much faith we have. It does not depend upon how we feel at a particular time. It is simply there. It happened the way it happened despite our unbelief, or lack of faith. It is steady and unchanging. And yes, I do have strength through it. But it is not my strength. It all belongs to God.
Finally, life's ups and downs, and in my case the big down of an unexplained illness in Martha, do not define my faith. My faith in Jesus defines my whole life, including the highest ups and the lowest downs.
Thanks for taking a look at my first post. I promise I won't dwell on this particular issue. But I cannot promise that it won't influence my future postings! This was written somewhat in haste, with no editing. So don't get too critical about the grammar!
Peace to you all,
John
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